My Feldenkrais Journey
I was ready for a change, but I was in pain.
Freedom from chronic pain
I’d spent 5 years working for the city of New York creating internships for high school students in career and technical programs. It was meaningful work, but I’d done it in a way that was unsustainable – working 60 hours a week or more, trying to grow the program while fending off budget cuts. And I had allowed my commitment to performing as an actor and singer fall by the wayside.
The stress of the job showed up in a severe case of plantar fasciitis, inflammation in tissue in the foot that causes chronic, stabbing pain. I had limped constantly for over a year, in spite of shoe inserts and stretches prescribed by the doctor. I’d left the job that caused the stress, but struggled to get around town. How was I to go back on stage?
I signed up for a movement class for actors which was based in the Feldenkrais Method®. The first hour of the class was spent lying on the floor doing an Awareness Through Movement® (ATM®) lesson, followed by movement games. Even the first day, I found that slowing down for the ATM made it easier to play on my feet. By the ninth class, a lesson called “Finding the Edges of your Feet,” the pain in my feet was completely gone. When class was over, my experience led me to continue my studies of this intriguing method.
Reduced stress and anxiety
Two years later, regular Feldenkrais Awareness Through Movement® lessons, alongside voice lessons and acting classes, gave me new confidence as a performer. In March 2020, I decided to challenge myself by self-producing a solo show I had first envisioned in college over 20 years earlier: a memorial piece for World AIDS Day in December, based on poetry by Paul Monette written when he lost his lover at the height of the AIDS crisis in the 80s. I had aged into the role and felt ready to tackle a part that was bigger than anything else I had done.
When COVID shut the world down only weeks later, I kept going – the pandemic gave new relevance to piece about AIDS. I shifted my focus from a stage show to a livestream. Being homebound made it easier to memorize over an hour of emotional text. And since most of their regular work had shut down, I was able to hire some top talent to work with me. It was thrilling but the most stressful project I had ever taken on - a huge role, plus managing a team.
Big stress like this resulted in a particular – and extreme – physical reaction. I would wake up with a stye in my eye swelling it shut. Only by applying warm compresses all day could I bring down the swelling enough to perform onstage. Fortunately on-camera gigs were few and far between! But this time my eye never swelled up. I never got hoarse, and after working long hours I fell right to sleep, rather than the usual insomnia. Instead of rebelling, my body cooperated with me through the whole process.
What was different this time? My regular Feldenkrais practice. I would start every day with an Awareness Through Movement® lesson; the slow gentle movement sequences calmed my nervous system and helped me find healthier pathways for my stress. I would enter each rehearsal or production meeting feeling physically grounded and emotionally adaptable. And everyone involved commented how much they enjoyed the process and how meaningful the piece was.
I’d realized a 20-year-old dream. What was next? I wanted less time behind a computer and more time making theater. I’d long been interested in teaching as a way of building community and finding collaborators, and the Feldenkrais Method® presented itself as a key foundation. Only a few months after my show, I found that Alan Questel, one of the world’s leading Feldenkrais practitioners, was starting a new certification program in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
My professional interests intersected with some personal needs. I had grown up in New Mexico, and my father still lived in Albuquerque, about to celebrate his 80th birthday. He’s still in good health, but I wanted to reconnect with him and be equipped to support him should he need. The Feldenkrais Method® is popular among people who are aging and seeking to maintain mobility or deal with chronic pain, and was already helping me learn to slow down and listen in many ways. Four months after my show closed, I was on a plane to begin my training in my home state.
Trying new things and
connecting with others
Our City Different attracts people at all stages of life who are drawn to open spaces, inspired by our beautiful landscape and rich history to try new things and expand our sense of self. I am delighted to be here teaching the Feldenkrais Method® as a way to move through life with increased ease, comfort, and curiosity.
Nambe Lake, Santa Fe National Forest